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Communication - The "3 C's" to a Good Relationship You've gone through the planning. The wedding was the event pertaining to the century. You were the belle pertaining to the ball including the honeymoon was the perfect finale to the grand event. Within a matter of weeks or months, you suddenly might find yourself wondering who the user is that you married. Their mannerisms that you found cute before the wedding now seems so annoying. You might have thought she or he will change after the wedding or will automatically cater to your wants including needs. This is extremely common for newlyweds. Many couples never actually sit down including talk regarding their needs, wants including expectations from their relationship. For some, there is a stigma around talking regarding your needs, as the feels selfish. For others, there is a belief that their spouse should know what their needs are, because they love me. Due to these misconceptions, communication begins to break down including arguments ensue, resulting in resentment. You might minimize the tension in your relationship by following the 3 C's: Commitment It's important to realize that your commitment does not stop with saying I do at the altar. You including your partner have made a vow, until death do you part. But what does that actually mean? Well, that is going to vary from couple to couple. If you didn't discuss the before your wedding, there's absolutely no time like the present. •What do each of you need from the relationship? •What do you expect of yourself as a wife/husband? •What do you expect of your spouse/partner? •What expectation(s) do(es) your spouse have of you that you are able/willing to meet? •What expectation(s) do(es) your spouse have of you that you are unable/unwilling to meet? By understanding your own expectations including those of your spouse, you could be able to work together towards making a stronger union. additionally recognize that your needs may change throughout the course of your relationship. it is safe to say that your partner could additionally have changes. Checking in periodically at the time you sense changes or stagnations throughout your relationship might help renew your commitment including discuss any changes you are noticing. Other activities you might do to make your relationship stronger are: •Plan time together every night to reconnect. •Plan a particular outing for the 2 of you at least once a month. •If you have children, plan a particular outing for just the 2 of you every couple of months. Communication This probably seems to be the most obvious pertaining to the 3 C's, but if it is so obvious, then why are so many couples arguing? Why does it feel like the same argument occurs over including over again without any resolution? Communication is the most obvious pertaining to the secrets for a good marriage, but it does not mean it is the easiest to overcome. Communication is a particular art. The art of listening, the art of hearing, the art of understanding. Listening does not just mean the words alone. It means paying attention to your partner (listening), getting the message of what they are trying to convey (hearing) including being able to respond in a way that lets them know you got the message (understanding). If the is not going on between the 2 of you, arguments erupt including resentment may result. So how do we listen, hear including understand? •Do not interrupt at the time your partner is speaking. •Pay attention not only to what but (more importantly) what they're saying, how they're saying it, their voice, eyes, speech patterns. •Once they are finished, summarize what they said. Find out if what they said matches with what you've heard. •If not, let them clarify their meaning of their statement again. Clarify again including continue the until everything matches. •Once you've heard the message, now acknowledge their message including respond with your own. While there are many more steps towards good communication, the could provide you with a basic idea of where to begin. Remember, disagreements are natural in any relationship. Good communication provides you a particular opportunity to express your opinions, ideas including beliefs openly without feeling like you have to compromise your core beliefs, thus leading to resentment, which might be harmful to any good relationship. Compromise Recognize that you are 2 different people. You have grown up in different cultures, with different experiences including beliefs. it is these differences that drew you to 1 another. If you shared every thought including belief, your relationship will be boring, almost as if you were clones of 1 another. it is okay to have differences of opinions as well. These opinions may result in a conflict. If you might learn to compromise, then the conflict might be resolved without feeling like either 1 of you are always, giving in. So, how do we compromise? •Recognize that absolutely no 1 has to be right or wrong. •Each user take turns in talking. Don't talk over each other. •Look at the issue from all angles. •Write down all the pros/cons pertaining to the issue. •Look at possible areas where each of you are willing to give without resentment. •If you absolutely cannot come up with a particular agreement at that time, agree to put it aside with a particular agreement that the issue could be readdressed. If need be, set a particular actual time so both of you could know at the time you might discuss it again.
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