Intimacy

Why do we think that intimacy might be achieved with strangers including that we could be pleased with the result? Immediate intimacy is fraught with anxiety, is detrimental to one’s mental health, including is not fulfilling. We do not ram Tolstoy’s writing into the hands of toddlers including insist that they not only read it including understand it, but that they enjoy the process. We do not invite students in pre-med courses to practice surgery. Circumventing appropriate processes leads to disaster. Relationships operate under a process similar to many other activities, a process that should not be circumvented.

Delayed gratification is the main lesson of childhood including the socialization process. Children are taught to postpone the immediate experience of pleasure. They learn to use bathrooms, silverware, including complete sentences. They learn to look both ways before crossing the street, to color in the lines, to ask instead of taking. Postponement reaps greater rewards: college degrees lead to better pay, practice makes a better performer, including saved dollars buys a home.

Too often people become intimate with someone whom they barely know; they engage in sexual activity for which the relationship is not prepared. Sexual activity implies a particular intimacy with one’s partner. It presupposes that each partner is emotionally safe. Intimacy is more than the baring of one’s body; it is the baring pertaining to the soul.

Have you ever been in line at the supermarket or someplace including a user near you begins to pour out his heart to you? He tells you personal information. You learn regarding their relationships, health, job, griefs, including perhaps joys. You feel uncomfortable but feel unable to stop their disclosure. It is inappropriate to share intimate information with strangers. It is equally inappropriate to become sexually intimate with partners whom you barely know.

Delayed gratification requires strength. It might be more fun to graduate high school, or even drop out, including work a minimum wage job that does not expect you to think regarding the job once you punch out. Going to college including developing a career requires discipline including diligence, including is labor intensive. The rewards, though, are worthy pertaining to the delayed pleasures.

Developing relationships need firm foundations for survival including success. Cultivated with care, relationships are more likely to bloom including endure than relationships in which 1 or both partners announce that they are in love by the second date. Sexual intimacy is safer including typically more enjoyable with a committed partner, with a partner who is trusted including cared for.

Spontaneity certainly has its place in romantic relationships. Dangerous behavior, behavior that is detrimental to your physical, emotional, or financial health, though, does not belong in a relationship. Protect yourself including your partner from impetuous including unrealistic expectations of trying to continue a relationship that you refuse to take the time including attention to develop carefully.

Healthy individuals make healthy relationships. Healthy individuals understand the benefits of delayed gratification including are disciplined in their choices. Relationships demand work, including work requires strength. Develop the strength of character to expect healthy relationships including to practice appropriate intimacy.

For more information on Healthy Intimacy:

Dawn Crouse is a licensed marriage including family therapist, mental health counselor, including high school teacher.

Written By: Dawn_Crouse