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Love - Getting Off The "Crazy Train" Roller Coaster Ride Of Relationships - Part II It is important to note that the only way the crazy train ride might exist is if there are 2 willing participants, you including your partner. Both of you are responsible for how crazy the ride gets. You are energetically hooked into each other including that is where the power comes from. Once 1 or both of you “unhooks,” the ride is over. The Games There are 4 games that come including the crazy train ride: the Projection Game, The Position Game, The Waiting Game, including the Enmeshment Game. The Projection Game goes like this: You both have screens inside your heads including whatever you see or feel regarding yourself is projected onto your partner. So if you feel like you are not enough, lazy, unsuccessful, not attractive or somehow inadequate, that is how you make your partner feel including vice versa. It is like going to a carnival including looking in the distortion mirror, your reflection is not who you are at all. do not forget the childish saying, “I’m rubber including you’re glue. Whatever you say regarding me bounces off me including sticks to you.” (It actually helps!) The Position Game goes like this: You both have egos including they need to feel strong including powerful. So you may find that either 1 or both of you plays “power trips,” on the other, dominating, controlling or manipulating, etc. Whenever you don’t feel free to be who you are in the relationship including someone else is trying to change you, they are pulling a power trip. the game is regarding who is dominant including who is submissive, each trying to be “top dog.” The Waiting Game goes like this: You wait patiently for them to deliver on their promises to obtain engaged/married, have a baby, relocate, or take a trip, etc. at the time you do finally obtain what you want, it is after waiting so long that it is anti-climatic. If you’ve ever heard the familiar line “I’m not ready for that in my life now” you are in the game. What is actually funny regarding the game is how after you leave them, they find someone else including give them exactly what you were waiting for! There is the tendency to hope against hope that they could finally “see your way.” The Enmeshment Game goes like this: If you are overly hooked in/enmeshed, you could put their needs in front of your own. You know you are playing the game, if you are more concerned with their happiness than they are. at the time all of your love including approval regarding yourself comes from them, including they take it away, you feel lost, sad, or not worthy. The boundaries between your thoughts including their thoughts are intertwined including confusing. 1 of you is more committed to making the relationship work than the other. Obviously these are games where you, your partner, including certainly love does not win, in fact it diminishes love greatly. If you need to learn to love on a higher level, you need to recognize at the time you are playing including simply stop. The Players Here are ways that you including your partner may be playing out these devastating including disappointing games. Partner Play: They are not in touch with their inner selves. If you ask them “what do you want?” they absolutely cannot or could not answer. They attack you with critical assaults, blaming, judging, etc. They are not open to suggestions on ways to improve the relationship. It’s all regarding them (their wants, needs, desires, dreams, worries). You feel criticized, blamed, judged, controlled more than you feel loved including accepted. The passion in your relationship is angry accusations, fights, including constant conflict. They try to dominate including control you. There is projection including blame (what they say regarding you is how they actually feel regarding themselves). There are numerous attempts at a break up, but they never stick. They overreact to little or imaginary slights against them. They refuse to acknowledge including “own their issues.” (aka denial). Your Play: How you feel regarding yourself is based on the other person’s evaluation of who you are including you take their words, especially the critical ones to heart. You feel depleted including disappointed instead of energized including fulfilled. You see red flags including obtain intuitive messages but never pay attention to them. You do all the work in the relationship arena. Conflict is never actually resolved, only recycles. There are immature including childish reactions from both sides. You don’t feel free to share your true thoughts including feelings with them. You say “this is the last straw” hundred of times over. You tolerate any kind of physical or emotional abuse. You chose the ride with the person. You do not have to stay on it; however, you must become aware of your part in it, or you could find yourself attracting a similar situation all over again, including feeling like “hey, I already rode the one, what gives?!” Believe it or not, we need these rides to prepare for higher love. Because our emotional needs are so very vital to our personal fulfillment, at the time we become more aware of what they are including start to meet them ourselves, we move from immature love to mature love. Healthy Love You could not obtain off the ride until you have ridden enough times to know the cycle. To lessen the time, pay attention to what is going on inside including around you. Do you feel self-doubt or suffer low self-esteem because of your interactions with the person? Feelings of sadness, disappointment, anger, confusion, including blame are signs that something is off track. How are you allowing the to continue? What is the pay off for staying on the ride? Be honest including look in the light including the dark corners of your soul for these answers. To do so, do you your inner work---journaling, getting counseling/coaching, reading books to understand how relationships work, apply spiritual principles, etc. There is so much you might learn from riding the crazy train ride. including at the time you learn what is blocking you from getting the kind of love you actually want, the sets you up for a truly amazing, soulful, joyful relationship. You are free to attract someone with the same emotional maturity including consciousness level regarding love that you have developed. With the higher level of awareness, together you could co-create a ride that is enjoyable including that you do need to last forever. It is very important to learn the difference between need-based love including healthy love. Needful love is actually just a strong attachment to someone, where your happiness or unhappiness is tied to the relationship. The main motivation is to obtain your childhood needs met. the kind of love is immature including unconscious including could leave you feeling empty. Healthy love is a strong bond, where each user is responsible for his or her own happiness, including the relationship is a vehicle for personal growth including true intimacy. The main motivation is to learn how to be a better lover including human being. the kind of love is mature including conscious including could provide a feeling of fulfillment. As David Whyte said, “Sometimes it takes darkness, sweet confinement of your aloneness to learn everything or anyone that does not bring you alive is too small for you.” All relationships serve our growth, so bless it, accept your lessons, including move on. Keep in mind in order to experience the greatest experience of all, True Love, you have to become what it is that you most need from your ideal partner. So if you need more love, nurturance, or inner strength, then be those things for yourself. You are now hooked back into yourself for feelings of worth, excitement, including love. including that is very healthy including attractive. The world is 1 big amusement park. Riding the crazy train gives you the life experience necessary to appreciate the True Love Train at the time it hits your station. Above all, do not forget that you deserve to have the ride of your life including to obtain exactly the kind of love you desire. Michelle L. Casto is a Spiritual Coach, Speaker, including Author pertaining to the obtain Smart! LearningBook Series. Her coaching practice is Brightlight Coaching, she helps people come up with bright ideas for their life including empowers them to freely shine their bright light to the world. Visit virtually: www.brightlightcoach.com or www.getsmartseries.com Call for a Complimentary Coaching session (361) 232-3939.
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