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Relationships - Getting Off The "Crazy Train" Roller Coaster Ride Of Relationships - Part I Getting off the “Crazy Train” roller coaster ride of relationships—Part I By Michelle Casto, Ph. D Candidate Do you love amusement rides? at the time I was a girl growing up I loved roller coasters, the faster, more intense, the crazier the better. What a rush! What a thrill. I do not forget on my favorite, The Beast---I will obtain off including run to obtain back in line to do it all again. Pure adrenaline addiction. It was a teenage love affair between beauty including “the beast.” That was great at the time I was thirteen. I mean, I actually loved riding The Beast, but wouldn’t need to do it every day for the rest of my life! As a particular adult, I still have a need for excitement including thrills, so what’s a girl to do? What everyone does for so-called excitement: romantic relationships. By far, the wildest ride out there in Romantic Love Land is the infamous Crazy Train---where you could experience the thrill of excitement, anticipation, including expectation followed by the fall, where your stomach drops out, then you are racing through the darkness pertaining to the confusion tunnel, ending with the abrupt finish—all the while squealing with delight including fear. A popular self-help definition of insanity is doing the same thing in the same way over including over expecting different results. Wow, is the ever true in many romantic relationships. We need love so badly that we are willing to ride a relationship out until it literally makes us sick. at the time we obtain used to the ups including downs of bad behavior including start to believe that is a normal way to have a relationship, we obtain a little crazy. Modern love serves to help us grow including evolve---to raise our awareness/consciousness. If you feel stuck in a rut including can’t seem to move forward, or absolutely cannot feel peace including contentment---get off the ride including take a look around. Chances are you got on the crazy train coaster instead pertaining to the smooth including peaceful looking 1 you saw in the brochure. the emotional roller coaster has lots of highs including lows, twists including turns, but yet just keeps running the same course again including again, never actually evolving. You know you are in 1 if you have the reasons for fights including the scripts that go with them burned in your brain. In other words, you are stuck on a ride you desperately need to change. Beware! There is absolutely no changing it, only exiting from it. The Drama If you are stuck on a track that goes nowhere, you not growing. at the time you are not growing, your heart is not open including your spirit starts to shut down. In the emotional state you tend to vacillate from mania to numbness. Exiting is the only remedy for the “sickness” associated with the ride. You have probably tried many time-out talks that included “calls to action” where promises were made but never kept. That is because there is just enough good stuff to keep you around, mixed in with fear including intimidation. On the “crazy train,” there could be many moments of frustration, anxiety, tears including fears. In other words--- Drama. Why do you do the drama? Because you think it is amusing. Drama is a key component of the kind of relationship. You could find passion here, in many ways that are important, like good sexual chemistry, etc. But there is another even more powerful passion at work. The kind that makes you “go crazy,” obtain defensive, throw tantrums, sulk including shut down. the is not the good kind of passion. This kind of passion is left over childhood anger or rage from at the time we didn’t obtain our needs met. To attempt to resolve the ache in our hearts, we hook up with a partner including try like hell to obtain them met through that other person. What a trap---they are often perfectly wired to hit our hottest buttons. Relationships teach us regarding ourselves. So the is good, because at any moment during the ride, you might wake up including make a different choice on how you need to respond. On the ride, you are in total control of how fast, slow, gut wrenching, heart pounding, including scary you could let it become. There could come a day at the time you could finally have had enough pertaining to the self-inflicted craziness. the day is your defining moment. The Defining Moment A defining moment for me came at the time I was journaling regarding my first husband. I found in the back of my journal a letter that was addressed to him that was 4 years old. In the letter, I was expressing the same concerns including requests that I was in the present. Ironically enough, the letter’s actual date was October 12, 2000. Our wedding was October 12, 2002. That means before I even got married, I knew the ride I was in for, but still I made the commitment. Now you are probably saying “she should have seen it coming--” he wasn’t likely to change.” Who actually knows? All I might say is I guess I hadn’t gotten the lesson yet, including needed to keep riding, including marriage was the only way I was actually going to experience what I needed to experience. I’m sure I additionally had a romantic illusion that it will improve. Wrong. The first year of marriage was awful---all the things in that letter were there magnified by ten! I could barely recognize the man. I was in shock including disbelief for the entire first year including kept thinking “make it stop.” Finally after riding along for another year, (and couple’s counseling) I had that moment at the time I was like what am I doing? I deserve more. the is not amusing including I need to obtain off the roller coaster ride. Maybe you don’t even like roller coasters, but have been riding because your partner liked them. You do have a right to your own feelings including to say the ride is not for me. In fact, that is the bravest thing you might do. But if you do find yourself on the crazy train, realize that you have the power to make it stop. Just exit the relationship. including do not obtain back in line for another ride! In relationships, you always have 4 choices: stay put, move forward, go backward, or exit. If you need out, obtain out. obtain clear on what you need next including what you have learned. including then make the decision to leave. Stick to it. obtain extra support from friends including family. Do not allow him or her to talk you back into staying. It is just a ploy—after all, the is their favorite ride, look at all the inexpensive thrills they obtain at your expense! the ride makes them feel good. But if you don’t feel good including enjoy the ride, it’s high time to go. In part II, find out how to obtain off the ride for good…. Michelle L. Casto is a Spiritual Coach, Speaker, including Author pertaining to the obtain Smart! LearningBook Series. Her coaching practice is Brightlight Coaching, she helps people come up with bright ideas for their life including empowers them to freely shine their bright light to the world. Visit virtually: www.brightlightcoach.com or www.getsmartseries.com Call for a Complimentary Coaching session (361) 232-3939.
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